I don’t have any evidence that many Christians nightly unbuckle their fanny packs, pull down their pantaloons, squat, cup their hand beneath the slightly spread crack of their ass, squeeze out a soft turd into their cupped hand, bring that hand around to their face and stuff the warm feces into their mouths and gleefully ingest.
But I suspect they do.
Why? Because I keep hearing and reading about this “War or Christianity” in America. War on Easter, War on Christmas, War on Prayer. I keep seeing these things referenced. I keep seeing mention of the supposed persecution of the Christian majority.
I never, however… ever… see any evidence of any such thing. My operative assumption is that many Christians consume copious amounts of their own shit and by doing so suffer some sort of infection or something that makes them stupid.
I don’t know a single non-believer who wants to “destroy” or “eliminate” prayer, or Christmas, or Easter, or Christianity by policy, law or thought policing. Every time I see these things opposed it is within the context of Government funded activities. I see non-believers – though not nearly enough – address these issues only in relation to the separation of church and state.
As far as I can tell, the vast majority of non-superstitious non-cult members have absolutely no problem with you dancing with snakes. You can dance with snakes in the streets if you like, provided you follow safety procedures to ensure nobody outside of your ritual is at risk. You can hold prayer meetings in the park, at your home or at the beach. You can gather and whisper to your gods while pouring the blood of your privately owned and sacrificed goats upon your bodies in the pale moon light when Venus has reached the holy point. Or whatever the fuck crazy shit you cultists do.
Pretend like crackers and wine are the flesh and blood of a 2000 year old zombie and cannibalize it? Go for it, dude.
You can even, and this is the only one that even comes close making me really, really uncomfortable – I mean, a “fuck I wish there were a way to morally do something about this without crossing the line into thought police” kind of uncomfortable – you can even brainwash your children at home, in churches, in bible study, in a Madrassa or a private school. You can make them wear stupid shit on their heads. You can teach your little girls not to cut their hair and or wear sacks. You can teach your young boys that they are the masters of the young girls. You can keep them from learning anything that conflicts with your cult beliefs. I really wish you wouldn’t, and I might even consider cult-indoctrination as a form of child abuse, but I have no right to stop you. And I don’t just mean in terms of the law. I have no right, period. We can’t have thought police and maintain our freedoms.
So you can do all of this. You can make your child into a little god-bot. You can teach him that overwhelming evidence is meaningless. You can teach him that faith is superior. You can teach him that prayer will heal his illnesses. You can teach him that everyone who doesn’t believe in a particular zombie is going to hell. You can tell him to give away all of his shit because the world is going to end in Oct. You can teach him to be a “fool for the invisible wizard”. You can teach your daughter that she is to obey a husband. You can teach her to not speak with authority. You can teach her that her body is not her own. You can teach your kids to glorify ignorance and bigotry and superstition and xenophobia, and racism and jaw-dropping absurdity. You can fuck your kids brain from here to Olympus, and non-believers won’t do shit – it’s not our place.
What you cannot do is use public money, in Government funded institutions and events, to promote any of your deluded ass, superstitious, tribalistic death-cult bullshit… to sully the brains and time of people who don’t share your stupidity by bridging the gap between church and state.
You cannot chant your rituals to other people’s children. You cannot sacrifice goats that I, as a tax payer, partly own. You cannot infuse public education with magical fuckwittery. You cannot put your cult’s rule-list in the public courthouses. Because many of us, who pay for these things, do not share your fucking stupidity.
So no. Nobody is trying to deny you your ability to be a fuzzy thinking, child-like moron in the streets. Or in the park. Or at your home. Or in your churches. You can own radio stations and tv shows. You can write and publish books. You can spread your virus in a multitude of ways. To include brainwashing your children.
You just can’t do it on my dime or to my children.
And you’re going to have to fucking deal with that. Seriously.
Because that shit isn’t going to happen, so you might as well drop that pipe dream you ignorant motherfuckers.